A Love Story Powered By Kindness

The Love Journey of Tosin and Joseph Sanusi

The meet -Meant To be 

Six years ago, Tosin Sanusi wasn't ready to date men who were not her dream husband. After several toxic relationships, she had learned to guard her heart above all else. When she first met her husband Joseph, one thing stood out above all else: his kindness. "I realised he was a good person at heart," she reflected. But Tosin, wise beyond her years, knew that gut feelings backed up by divine conviction, never go a miss. So she took her uncertainty to God and He answered with a verse that would change everything: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" (John 4:18). That scripture rekindled her cautious heart to love, making room for Joseph.

Joseph's story began a little differently, on a fateful Saturday at a trade fair event. He was surrounded by many beautiful faces but one person caught his fancy,Tosin. Notably, this was happening at a time when God had interrupted his plans, whispering that marriage was on the horizon, in six months time. So Joseph began a deliberate search for his future wife. God further downloaded Genesis 24, the story of Abraham's servant finding a wife for Isaac, in his heart, and two months into his search, he met Tosin. Her first words to him matched a prayer he had made just days earlier. Coincidence? By no means. It was the sign he was looking for in his future wife, all along.

The Connection -Folding into love

When Joseph Sanusi, a prayerful, kind, selfless, thoughtful gentleman appeared,Tosin’s first instinct was suspicion. After going through toxic relationships in the past, she had gone cold turkey on dating. But Joseph did not flinch. He kept showing up. “His family was also very kind to me. His mom and his sister were so welcoming and coming from a very kind family,I wanted the same energy from my inlaws. To this day conversations with his mom are very sweet and warm; ‘hi darling, hi, sweetheart, love you’, and that was very attractive to me. They are not just kind in words but their actions were in synchrony,” Tosin shared.

Additionally, Tosin shared that talking to Joseph was very easy. “He's such a good listener. I felt heard. If I said I was tired today, had a rough time at work with the boss, the next time we spoke he remembered to ask how I was feeling and how things had panned out and that was lovely. I felt cared for”, Tosin recalled.

She further described Joseph as a goof ball, admitting that his playful nature connected them deeply.

Before Joseph met Tosin, he had spent a considerable amount of time in intense discipleship. "God told me I needed to work on myself first, before marrying his daughter. I intentionally devoted to study His Word daily, praying consistently and The closer I drew to God, the more I was transformed to be like Him. So by the time I met Tosin, kindness wasn't a performance. It was my personality. The holy spirit had equipped me with the fruit of kindness”, Joseph said.

The Pursuit -Chasing hearts

Joseph really had his best foot forward. He took Tosin out on fancy dates, he remembered her stories and being a funny guy, he was a ball of good energy, keeping her entertained. But what drew Tosin in wasn't the grand gestures but the small, sacrificial acts. Joseph would navigate treacherous roads in his Benz just to pick her up, refusing to let her take a motorcycle, even when it was wildly inconvenient. She was not an easy catch. ”I had been in toxic relationships before and so when he expressed his kindness to me, my first thought was, ‘I know what you want’, just like other playboys”, so she thought. But time proved her otherwise. He had a sincere desire to be her husband. His kindness was real and his family mirrored that warmth. "I didn't want to deal with in-law drama, and coming from a loving, warm family, I was praying to marry in a family that had the same energy and God answered”, Tosin giggled with pride.

The Turning Point -Navigating challenges

The biggest hurdle was alcoholism. However, before Joseph met Tosin, God had instructed him to quit drinking. But Joseph, didn't fully understand the why and so he obeyed for sometime, then relapsed when bad company entered his life.

Tosin on the other hand, had firm boundaries and once mentioned to Joseph that a partner who drank was a deal breaker. A life rule she had set with God long before meeting Joseph.

Joseph trapped in a pickle, had to choose between working on himself or loosing Tosin.“I was short-sighted. But since I treasured Tosin more than alcohol and above all wanted to obey God, I had to give up booze, sober up and I have never looked back since," Joseph opened up glorifying God.

The Commitment -Till Forever Comes

Joseph was first to admit love, after ticking all the boxes on his checklist,while Tosin's decision to commit wasn't rushed. She waited until she had prayed through, making sure her feelings aligned with God's plan.

Joseph was convinced beyond doubt that Tosin wasn't just the right person, she was his spec. "God didn't just give me someone I am attracted to, He gave me more than I had asked for, physically, mentally, in communication and in eloquence", he proudly said.

He went on to share that beyond attraction, she taught him something revolutionary, that marriage is friendship first. She further recommended books like ; 10 Things I Wish I Knew About Marriage by Gary Chapman's , The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller's , Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, and The five love languages by Gary Chapman, among others. Besides that, Tosin remembered to do book reviews with him long before they made their union official.

"She also carries a vibrant aura of joy. Wherever she goes, there's laughter. And she showed me that submission isn't subjugation but balance." Joseph proudly shared. Clearly. they had every reason to commit to do life together in marriage.

Lasting Love Lessons

After six going to the seventh year in marriage with two amazing boys, they've learned that romance evolves. Date nights and surprise dinners still matter, but so does flexibility. Tosin admits that she thought Joseph would be a traditional man. Harsh and rigid. She also believed they needed to resolve their differences before sleeping, but now they know that some conversations are layered and cannot be iron out completely in one night”. “We can talk partly, kiss goodnight, and pick it up the following day when time allows and our marriage is still standing. No grudges, just grace", Tosin shared.

Joseph added that , "Seasons change. Kids arrive but what matters most is staying in touch, adapting, and being flexible".

Guests: Joseph & Tosin Sanusi -The Sanusi’s

Interviewer: How We Met

Editor: Grace M. Kioko